


Off the Map

by whitchry9



Series: no more vacations, like, ever [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Daredevil (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blind Character, Blindness, Canon Disabilities, Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff, Gen, Humor, I will turn this car around I swear to god, Ridiculous, Vacation, accidental border crossings, clint and matt are children, deafness, onion festival, peasant uprisings, steve does bad things, stupid jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 12:24:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2547401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitchry9/pseuds/whitchry9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fury figured that sending Steve Rogers, you know, Captain America, with Clint and Matt would solve the problems they'd been starting.<br/>Except he sort of forgot that Steve was great at making his own problems. Like sparking a peasant uprising.<br/>Whoops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Off the Map

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not going to apologize to Latveria. I would apologize to Hungary, but they're only in Hungary like, 10 minutes before getting into trouble.
> 
> More swearing in this one.

“You fucked up Rogers,” Fury stated.

Steve hung his head. “Yes sir.”

“No, I am serious. I don't know if anyone's fucked up this badly before, and I'm including the time Barton brought home Romanoff like he found a puppy in a cardboard box.”

“Hey!” Clint protested.

Fury silenced him with a look.

“Yes sir,” he repeated.

“Now, start at the beginning, so maybe I can _begin_ to understand how this clusterfuck happened. You were going on vacation?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“What on earth is in...” Steve squinted at the flier in Clint's hand. “Is that Romanian?”

“Hungarian, actually,” Matt corrected.

Steve frowned at him. “How do you know?”

He grinned. “Clint told me where we're going. It's in Hungary. I took an educated guess.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “What on earth is in Hungary then? And why does the flier have onions on it?”

“Onion festival,” Clint told him, slapping the flier down on the table in front of him. Matt winced.

“What makes you think I'd want to go to an onion festival?” Steve sighed, taking a seat. He had a feeling it was going to be a long conversation.

“Well, it's not just that. I figured we could do a bit of a tour of Europe. You know, see how things have changed since the war? They must have changed a lot.”

“Probably,” Steve agreed, looking to Matt for support. Or something. He didn't know the man well, but surely he'd be on his side.

“Hey, Matt's not going to help you here. So stop looking at him with your puppy dog eyes. The man is immune.” He snapped his fingers in front of Steve's face.

“I wasn't doing that,” he protested.

“You totally were,” Clint corrected.

“Matt?” Steve asked desperately.

“Oh no,” he said, holding his hands up in front of him. “Don't bring me into the argument. I saw nothing!” He grinned.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Do you ever stop with the blind jokes?”

“Nah,” he replied breezily. “Why should I? I enjoy amusing myself and making everyone else a bit uncomfortable. Puts us on equal footing.”

Steve sighed.

“So... Hungary?”

Clint lit up. “Mainly. I figured we could start there, because the onion festival is only a few days long, then we could head East. But not Budapest.”

Steve glanced at him. “What is with you, Natasha, and Budapest?” He glanced to Matt. “Do you know?”

Matt smiled, but shook his head. “Attorney client privilege. Sorry Steve.”

Steve sighed. “When do we leave?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Well, at least you knew he was blind. That's a good start,” Fury muttered.

Steve glanced at Matt and Clint.

“I feel like there's a story there,” he mused.

“ _Later,_ ” Clint mouthed to him.

Steve nodded.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I don't even like onions that much,” Steve admitted to Matt on the flight. Clint was flying one of the quinjets, which had possibly been obtained through less than proper channels.

Matt shook his head. “Neither do I.”

“Then why did you come?”

He sighed. “Because life at home is kind of a mess. I mean, my new home. I was disbarred in New York, so I've been working in San Francisco. It's a nice city, but it's not _home._ You know?”

Steve nodded. He did.

Matt sensed it, and moved on. “So it's nice and everything, but it's good to get away, especially with everything that's been going on recently. And Clint is fun to hang around with, even if we tend to get into trouble, and it's really hard to refuse his requests. He gets all sad and starts begging and then sort of... gives up. That's when you know he's won.” Matt shook his head. “But this is the third time we've been to Europe. You know how many trips we've been on? Four. If we go anywhere else, it will not be to Europe. I guarantee that.”

Steve laughed. “Maybe I'll come. I haven't done much travelling just for the sake of it. It's usually been for missions.”

Matt nodded. “Same.” He smiled behind his glasses. “Not much of a chance to see the sights when you're beating up ninjas, huh?” he asked.

Steve sighed. “No, I suppose not,” he agreed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Do you keep track of the number of blind jokes you make?” Clint asked.

Fury raised an eyebrow and Matt didn't respond.

“Just wondering,” he muttered.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They landed in a larger city in the south of Hungary, and from there it was a short drive in a rented car to the town of Makó.

 

The ride may have been short, but it was interesting, with Clint pointing out every remotely interesting thing he saw to Matt, who didn't seem to care.

“Another cow,” he declared, and Steve gritted his teeth.

 

They finally arrived in the town of Makó, only to discover that they'd missed the festivities for that day.

Clint examined his brochure, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry guys,” he muttered. “Half of this stuff is in Hungarian, which I can't read.”

Matt sighed. “Probably just as well for today. Did you book a hotel, or should we go find one.”

“I'm not completely incompetent Matthew,” Clint scowled, and Steve placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Perhaps we should go there,” he soothed. “Maybe find some sort of spa that I've heard so much about.”

Clint sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Yeah, okay.”

 

They piled back into their rental car, Steve driving again, with Clint providing directions from his phone.

“Actually, sorry, that should have been a left. Can you go back?”

“What's that?” Matt asked suddenly.

“What man?” Clint replied.

“Five heartrates just spiked. Can you see through the windows of this car?”

Steve glanced back at Matt, who had been relegated to the backseat. “Yeah, they're not tinted or anything.”

“Great... can anyone see five people, somewhere around... four o'clock?”

“Yeah,” Clint said. “Oh shit.”

“What?” Matt said urgently.

“I recognize the one. He's Hydra.”

Steve pressed his foot down on the accelerator.

“Change of plans,” he said grimly. “We're not staying here.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“To be fair, we hadn't expected to run into a pack of Hydra agents in Makó,” Steve pointed out. “And instead of fighting them like we could have, we just left.”

Fury glanced down at the paperwork on his desk. “I have reports of all five members ending up in hospital.”

Steve winced. “Yes, well, they followed us sir. We couldn't let them do that. So we... disabled them in an area where no civilians could be harmed, and then dropped them off in a somewhat populated area.”

“Which was very hard to find,” Clint pointed out. “I was all for leaving them, but Steve here was like, noo, we have to be responsible citizens.” He shrugged.

“And then we continued on our way,” Matt added.

“But you didn't realize where you were headed?”

“Matt was the navigator,” Clint said defensively.

Fury rubbed his head with his hand. “You let the blind man tell you where to go?”

“I fell asleep,” Steve offered. “And Clint was driving. It was that or let Matt drive, and honestly sir, which would you prefer?”

Fury only growled in response.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It took them a while before they came across a town. Steve wasn't sure exactly how long, because he was asleep, but the sun wasn't as high in the sky as when they'd left Makó, or when they'd dumped the Hydra goons on the outskirts of another small town that he wasn't sure even had a name.

 

He wiped the sleep from his eyes and looked around.

“I suppose you want me to go talk to someone?” he suggested, glancing between the two of them.

Matt was sporting his sunglasses with red tinted lenses, and part of his costume was peeking out from under his shirt, which was torn at the neckline. Clint wasn't faring much better, with his multiple bandages and bright purple hearing aids.

They nodded in unison.

Steve sighed. “Okay. Stay near the car, and don't talk to anyone, okay?”

Clint rolled his eyes. “Yes _dad._ ”

 

Steve ignored him, and instead headed into the nearest shop with lights on.

The bell on the door jingled as he entered what appeared to be a bakery. The shelves and display cases were mostly empty now, but the scent of baking bread still hung in the air.

“Hello,” Steve greeted. The woman at the counter didn't respond to him, but did glance up.

He smiled at her. “ Do you speak English?”

“English, yes,” she nodded. “But you should not be here.”

He frowned. “Why is that?”

“Political unrest,” she told him. “Not good for tourists.” She glanced through the window. “Are those your friends?”

Outside, Clint and Matt appeared to be bickering. Matt had drawn his cane out to its full length and was using it to stab the ground dangerously close to Clint's foot. Clint was signing wildly as well as shouting.

He didn't want to know what they were discussing.

“Yes,” Steve sighed, turning back to her.

She nodded. “You should go, before it gets dangerous.”

“With all due respect ma'am, we can handle ourselves.” He smiled at her again.

“Can they?” she asked pointedly.

Steve glanced outside, where Clint had Matt in a headlock.

“Oh my god you are children,” he muttered under his breath, storming out to break them up.

“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded.

They let go of each other immediately.

“Clint was calling me names in sign language,” Matt responded.

“Yeah, only cause he was blaming me for getting us lost, and for getting us intro trouble with those Hydra guys. We're just... a little bit off the map, that's all. Which wouldn't have happened if he navigated properly.”

“How am I supposed to read road signs Clint? I'm _blind,_ ” he snapped.

“Like that's ever stopped you before,” he retorted.

Steve rubbed his face. Why had he agreed to travel with children?

“Radar does not make up for everything,” Matt hissed. “Just like your hearing aids don't entirely compensate for your deafness.”

“Oh sure, let's bring that up again. It was one time, and I apologized-”

“Okay, that's enough,” Steve told them, leaving no room for argument. He used what Tony had dubbed his 'Captain America voice'. It was quite effective. “I spoke to the woman inside, and she said that it's not safe for us to be here because of political unrest.”

“Did you tell her we can take care of ourselves?” Matt pointed out.

Steve glared at them. “I tried, but I was interrupted by my two friends fighting right outside,” he hissed. “Come on! You're adults, act like it, at least until we get ourselves un-lost.”

“Whatever,” Clint muttered, scuffing his foot in the dirt.

_Children,_ Steve thought again.

“Stay here and do not fight,” he ordered. “I'm not done speaking with the woman.”

 

He headed back into the shop.

“I'm sorry,” he said. “We've been travelling for too long, and need rest. Is there anywhere in town we can stay?”

She shook her head. “You should not stay,” she insisted. “It is too dangerous for you. Leave. We cannot, our lives are here, but you are free to move on. Please,” she whispered. “Move on and be safe.”

“Are you safe?” Matt asked, coming up behind Steve almost silently.

She glanced between him and Steve, and he nodded to her.  _Trust him_ .

“No,” she said simply. “But we are alive, and that is enough.”

Steve shook his head. “No,” he said gently. “It's not.”

Clint placed a hand on Steve's shoulder. “Maybe we should leave this one alone Cap,” he whispered. “She seems pretty freaked out.”

Steve shrugged his hand off and turned to look at him.

He only mouthed the words, knowing Clint could read his lips, and not wanting the other woman to hear. “ _I've been in Nazi occupied countries. I have freed survivors of concentration camps. This woman is afraid, and I need to help her in any way I can._ ”

Clint sighed. “Yeah man, I know. So what are you going to do?”

Steve turned back to the woman, who was eyeing them suspiciously.

“Do you have a town square or marketplace? Somewhere that people can gather?”

“Yes,” she replied. “What do you wish to do?”

“Speak to the people,” Steve replied simply.

She examined him with old eyes. “Fine,” she sighed. “Auf Ihrem eigenen kopf sei es,” she added, under her breath.

 

She led them to a square not far from her shop. In the middle of the plaza sat a large bell, which she rang twice.

“People know to come,” she said simply. “But it is a response born out of fear.”

“I hope I can change that,” he replied, hoping he sounded sincere. Because he was.

 

He hopped up on the tiny wooden platform that appeared to serve as a stage, and waited for a small crowd to gather before he began speaking.

“Hello,” he said loudly. “My name is Steve. I am not from here; I'm just passing through. But I saw how fearful this town is. How quiet it is. How people live half lives, never wanting to risk their lives for their freedom. And I understand that. I really do. I have known fear and war. I've seen dictators and cruel leaders who claim they only want what is best for their people, which usually means harming others. I have seen the damage that ruling with an iron fist can cause, and I don't want you to suffer the same fate. I want to tell you that you can be strong, that you don't need to be afraid, that you can fight back!” The crowd had grown, and he spoke louder to be heard. “I want to tell you that you do not have to be silent any longer, that there are others in this world that will stand by your side and yell just as loudly to help your voice be heard! I want you to know that there is more to life than fear, and yes, it may be hard, but it is always worth it!”

 

The people who had gathered in the small square cheered, Clint and Matt included.

Steve hopped off the tiny platform that served as a stage and joined them and the woman again. She led them back to her shop.

“That was inspiring,” she told him. “But you are so young, to have eyes so old, and stories so raw.”

“Maybe,” Steve replied. “But I've seen a lot. And I don't want anyone else to have to.”

He spotted a boy in the street ahead of them, who grinned before ducking into an alley.

The woman waved.

“Do you know him?” he asked.

“My grandson,” she huffed. “Fyodor. He is a foolish boy, always getting into fights. But he is kind, and always stands up for others.”

Steve smiled.

Clint snorted behind him. “Sounds like someone else when he was younger.”

Steve turned quickly to glare at him, and went back to watching the woman at his side. She seemed weary, like her body was too heavy for her.

“So what is this place called anyway?” Steve asked her, and she glanced up at him, perhaps disappointed. Or maybe sad.

“You do not know? No wonder you insist on staying. This is Doomsdale.”

Clint frowned. “Hey, you know, that sounds an awful lot like-”

“Halt! You have trespassed in the sovereign country of Latveria!” a Doombot declared. More of them were already coming up behind it. The woman scurried back into her shop, apparently knowing what was to come.

“I told you we crossed a border,” Matt sighed.

“Stand aside for the glory that is Doom!” they said, echoing, one after the other.

“Not just any border,” Clint groaned.

“Did I mention the last time I was here I lost all my senses?” Matt said casually, his club already clutched in his hand.

Steve winced, and struck one of the Doombots with his shield. It fell, its words skipping like a broken record.

“How did you get out?”

“That's a story for another time, I think,” he replied, sailing through the air to land atop one of them, yanking out delicate machinery as he did.

“Probably,” Clint agreed, his bow appearing from nowhere. He shot three of them in quick succession. “Can we make this quick? I've only got like, eleven arrows left.”

“Seriously, that's all you brought?” Matt asked, soaring from one Doombot to another like he was in the Olympic uneven bar event.

“It's a travel set, okay?” he said irritably.

“Guys,” Steve warned.

They went back to fighting Doombots in silence, thank god.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“And then we kicked some Doombot ass,” Clint concluded, much to Steve's relief. Because yes, that was what essentially happened, but there was also some more stuff in there. But if Clint wasn't going to mention it, Steve sure wasn't going to bring it up. He'd seen the new Star Trek. He wasn't going to pull a Spock.

There had been slightly more blood than Clint had mentioned, but nothing so drastic that they couldn't deal with it. And as a bonus, no civilians were injured.

 

Plus they'd left them with _hope._

Steve knew that often, hope was the most dangerous thing to people in positions of power.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Danke,” the woman said. She'd taken Steve's hand into two of her own, and clasped it tightly. “Vielen dank für alles, was Sie getan haben. Deine mutter muss so stolz sein. Solch ein guter mann.” She patted him on the cheeks before heading off with the others.

“Bitte,” he whispered. “You're welcome.”

He didn't even know her name.

 

“Come on Steve,” Clint said, jogging up behind him. “We should probably leave now while the going's good. Matt's already hotwiring a car. I don't think he's having any luck. Natasha told me once that you know how to do it?...”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, I do. Where is he?”

Clint led him to Matt, who was indeed attempting to hotwire a car and failing _miserably._

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You trespass in Latveria, you upset Doom, you spark a peasant revolt, _and_ you hotwire a car?”

“Yes, sir.”

Fury sighed. “My god, I'm not sure if Phil will be delighted or horrified.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Steve drove on the way back. They all agreed it was for the best.

“No one lets me drive,” Matt said forlornly. Steve and Clint exchanged a look.

“Can't imagine why,” Clint muttered. “I've seen you drive before. You may be able to get away with that in New York, but not anywhere that people can _actually_ drive.”

“I've landed planes,” he protested, but it was only halfhearted. He seemed tired.

Clint had a black eye, and Matt had some superficial lacerations to his forearms, but otherwise, they were whole and well.

Matt fell asleep shortly after, thank god, and so did Clint.

 

Steve drove them to Szeged in mostly silence, and it was marvellous. No wonder Natasha had drugged them in Australia. They were like small children.

 

He arranged for the flight home, and waited until Clint woke up to fly them.

It had been a long day.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“With all that activity? No kidding,” Fury growled. “I send Captain fucking America to keep an eye on two pains in my ass, and he only manages to get them into more trouble. God, I can't ever tell Phil this, it would break his heart.”

Steve grimaced. “Again, I am so sorry.”

“Sorry never fixed anything. Go away,” he growled. “Not you two,” he added, speaking to Matt and Clint. “I'm not done with you.”

Steve shared a look with Clint, who nodded, before he left.

 

He might have hovered outside the room, and if his super hearing picked up what Fury said, well, he wasn't going to mention it.

 

“Do not take Rogers with you. Ever again. Take Thor for all I care, but for the love of god and America, do not take him.”

“...Right,” Matt said. “Because the god of thunder is going to be less destructive?”

“Nah, but he can fly us out of trouble,” Clint said.

Steve smiled, and turned away from the door. He wondered how long it would take for them to suggest Tony accompany them.

“ _No!”_ Fury bellowed.

Apparently not long.

He began to whistle. Life was good.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually did all the work of figuring out where Latveria would be on a map, and what cities would be close to the border. I scienced it, okay?  
> The onion festival is a real thing.
> 
> Also, comics Steve definitely knows German, and movie Steve knows at least French, so I'm willing to bet he knows at least some German.


End file.
